When the honeymoon bliss of a newlywed marriage comes to an end, married couples are often left with the fear of a fading spark. Our lives are so filled with pressures and uncertainties – careers, kids, bills and mortgages – and sometimes the weight of those pressures is placed directly on our relationships. So, it’s critical that we take a bit of time out of each day to nurture our marriage with small acts of endearment.
Here are a few simple ways you can show your partner you care and improve your marriage.
1) Practice the little things
It doesn’t always take a grand gesture to show someone you love them. In fact, many successful couples will tell you it’s the little things that count. Taking the time to kiss your partner goodbye before heading off to work, asking them how their day was as part of your goodnight routine, or brushing the snow off their car on a cold Calgary winter morning are a few examples of those small gestures of love that go a long way.
2) Communication is key
For married couples, communication is foundational. Talking through issues together is important, but it’s really how you communicate that sets the precedent for a successful relationship. Consider the tone in your voice, your body language and the types of words you use when you talk to one another. Are you hostile and cold, or warm and loving? Is your language primarily blame-based, or are you using neutral words to avoid making your partner uncomfortable? Try to focus on improving not just what you say, but how you say it.
3) Express your appreciation
If your partner is doing the dishes while you unwind and watch TV in the evening, take a moment to thank them for their work – even if they’re completing a task that is understandably their responsibility. It’s easy to take our spouse’s actions for granted when they’re helping with mundane day-to-day tasks. If you can show your appreciation for the little things, it’s easy for both partners in the relationship to develop feelings of affection associated with those daily chores.
4) Open up to each other in counselling
It’s a common misconception that couples counselling is a last resort or even the final step before separation. The irony of this misconception is that if couples integrated regular counselling into their relationships before they reached turmoil, they may never end up in that situation at all. Just like your car needs oil changes, a relationship requires ongoing maintenance too. A professional therapist or couples counsellor can help you resolve conflict, learn how to better communicate and even reignite a spark you thought had faded by allowing each partner to open up about their feelings.
Your Counselling offers therapy for couples looking to reconnect in Calgary. If you’re ready to commit to a happier marriage, contact us today for a free consultation and we’ll discuss the best path towards success for your marriage.